Google memories (1/x) 

y'all going to laugh, but I really believed it. I drank the kool-aid. this was the mid-00s, a tech company with a motto "don't be evil" still felt daring rather than cringe – for an alienated techie like past me, at least; my politically aware friends tried to warn me; but I didn't realise that Google leveraged its fine-tuned advertising machinery also for recruiting, and I swallowed the whole thing.

Google memories (2/x) 

even back then, there were all these little dissonances. I remember my future boss asking me why I wanted to work there, and I said I respected the Ten Principles of the company. "what Ten Principles?" during all my time there, I found I was the only one gullible enough to have read those mission statement pages.

but hey, at least we were not Microsoft. we respected open standards, kind of. we used open source. mostly. except for key products like Search and Mail, but 🤷‍♀️

Google memories (3/x) 

I aced the recruiting tests. How could I not? They were traps built for minds like mine. but I didn't understand how they were designed to make me feel proud, special.

and lucky. the Best Place to Work was shiny and different. the offices were called "campi". we got a lil welcome bonus to buy toys for your desk (I got a Kirby). there was a videogame room with Guitar Hero. the colourful rubbery floors felt like the furthest thing from your average office cubicle hell.

Google memories (4/x) 

but if you're working-class, something in the atmosphere nagged at you. my (then) wife felt it, too. the way everybody acted so high and showy, the expensive barbecue outings, the invisibility of the cleaning ladies, the second-class status of "contractors, temps, and part-timers". nobody gave a second thought to the fact that our weekly TGIF parties meant shorter Fridays for us but longer Fridays to the women doing our dishes.

Google memories (5/x) 

we had these fancy water purifiers, one per floor. they were not owned by the company, but rented. I looked it up, and the cost per month was more than we paid an avg employee (me). I told my boss we could use cheap, scientifically proven Brazilian ceramic filters, and hire cleaning personell as actual staff with the money. my boss looked at me like I was insane. I realised for all the talk, we had no input on company ethics.

Google memories (6/x) 

I had trouble remembering all the internal acronyms and codenames. there was a dictionary page on the intranet, and I made an IRC bot for it. I thought I'd get praise for my initiative; but I was scolded for exposing internal codes (like project Chrome, then a secret) to temps and other second-class ppl. I pointed out this info was already available from the dictionary site. they said omg we must fix that.

this is the story of how I purged the dictionary of all usefulness.

Google memories (7/x) 

my job at Google was to fix bugs in the homegrown account system. it was mind-numbingly boring. I told my boss I'd rather work in a different project. "No", he said.

remember we were supposed to have 20% of free time, but I had so many attributions forced on me, that I had to work overtime just to meet them. an internal survey (Googlegeist) showed that 90% of employees didn't make use of the 20% time.

Google memories (8/x) 

"Is 20% time a myth?", I titled an intranet blog post. I can't choose what to work in, I wrote; I cited the survey; "this is not what the recruiters promised". I got a bunch of emails praising me for my courage. But I wasn't brave, I was naïve.

my boss called me to a little room in Phoenix and berated me for "stabbing him in the back". doesn't Google support Radical Transparency, I objected. he said, and I quote,


Google memories (8/x) 

What did he say, and you quote? There is something missing from your post.

Google memories (8/x) 

@Hyolobrika it's next on thread, on 9/x.

Google memories (8/x) 

Wierd, I didn't see it under 8/x at first but now I tapped on the notification I can. Must be a UI quirk of my client. Anyway never mind.

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