Back at work and EVERYONE is concerned about me which is surprising. Even my boss was texting me Friday night saying to not come back to work until I was fit again. I feel so guilty, there's nothing wrong with me. I'm beginning to wish I was ill so that I didn't feel such a fraud.

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@dick_turpin It least you do not appear to have picked up something from the hospital to make you even more dead.

@dick_turpin I haven't seen a doctor my entire adult life... I was probably about 11 years old last time.

My GP is still somewhere in Middlesbrough when I signed up in university freshers week in exchange for a goody-bag of some kind.

Should probably sort that out.

@rpcutts You should. The wife grassed our daughter Monique up to our doctors. They rang for her and the wife said: "Oh, she dosen't live here any more." following week there was a letter kicking her off their list. Bwhahaha

@dick_turpin I had a run in with the NHS a few weeks ago (and all turned out OK) where I had a mammogram (which is the start of a good story) and ultrasound and biopsy. It was all very organised and quick.

@dick_turpin blimey, I have one day off and I miss all the excitement.

Does this mean I have to stop calling you a heartless bastard as you now have medical evidence it exists? 😛

@tig Yes! I demand compensation for all those years of heartache you inflicted on me with sneers of "Ha! If only you have one!"

@dick_turpin Careful what you wish for. You could be compensated with 14 kilos of bacon fat and a designation as the official source for all Zencart assistance. @tig

@dick_turpin ah, oof! So THATS the story! Like you said, better safe then giving your employer a heart attack because you had one while working 😜 - well, glad to hear you're as healthy as usual!

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