Yesterday I listened to "How ZEN TRAPS You" by Alan Watts and today it became clear to me what it means. The Ego just doesn't exist. There is no "I" that is responsible for what "I" do. What I am and what I do arises on its own without "me" being involved. To act in "suchness" means to act without the false notion of the Ego. And to hesitate is to act according to the false notion of the Ego.
@reto After listening to this Alan Watts talk, I couldn't help but think that the desire and intention to practice Zen is the height of egotistical pretentiousness. But come to think of it, the desire and intent to become a 'fully enlightened Buddha' by any means is the height of egotistical pretentiousness. And I mean that sincerely. I gradually let go of seeking ultimate enlightenment over the last couple of years. As Watts said, out of sheer frustration and the total ridiculousness of it.
General purpose mastodon instance