dick_turpin @dick_turpin@mastodon.org.uk

Been to the doctors and collected my "Take one of these every day, probably for the rest of your life!" Tablets. 🙁

Had a local council election polling card shoved through my door. I wonder if all us voters shouldn't just hang around the polling station arguing with each other over selfish self-interest points while letting the election go down the toilet? #Brexit #BrexitMayhem

That's enough WordPress for one day.

One of the joys of being 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘨𝘦 is you get to tell the 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨'𝘶𝘯𝘴 to go round the back and help the driver unload his lorry. 🤣

ROTFLMAO
BA plane lands in Edinburgh instead of Dusseldorf by mistake.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-47691478

What's wrong with charging someone £1000.000 for a wordpress website? It'll be worth it when I've finished. 🕺 💷 💳

𝕀'𝕞 𝕒 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

I bought some Clinique Anti-ageing and moisturiser cream today. As the [young] assistant served me I could tell she was thinking: "𝘞𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 £30.00 " 😢

Listen, don't argue with me. I actually understood Farscape sunshine.

Went to the doctors before coming to work to hear the results of the blood test I took last week.

I'm pretty confused, angry and depressed tbh.

How can my cholesterol be up to 7.0?
I EAT NOTHING!

How have I put 8lb since 2016?
I EAT NOTHING!

And with my low blood pressure, how can I be in the 15% at risk of heart attack category?
(The normal is 10% apparently?)

I walk over 10,000 steps a day and I eat well under 1500 calories per day.

Pretty pissed off if truth be told.

𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘!
Theresa May is clearly going to be the sacrificial lamb. It'll let a lot off the hook to blame her for their actions.

𝐈𝐍 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐖𝐒:
@alpacaherder told us about his gun toting sister. 🔫
@Nikita reveals they're heavily into Bollywood. 📽
@rpcutts Luurves his Broadband. 🙇
@MunkyBone has been ill all week. 👨‍⚕️
@bob told us about "The Deep State" which is a bit like the dark web? 🃏
@stardot tells us about SLA 📄
@xvilo "Order!" "Order!" ⚖
@dvdmrsdn explains Google to his Mum.
#itsfriday

𝗠𝗲: "I'm afraid he's on the phone at the moment. I'll get him to ring you back."
𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: "Well if I'm having my tea I won't answer the phone!"

𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥

𝗠𝗲: "Well in that case then you won't get your problem fixed will you."

Sometimes you just gotta say how it is.

This is why you get the mouth breathers to pay something decent up-front and before your fingers even touch the keyboard. Once the raw site is created you get another payment to propagate the damn thing and then a final payment when it's finished and before it goes live!

#BurntTooManyTimes

http://clientsfromhell.net/client-who-did-not-pay/

I am eating this.

Thank the pond gods I don't have this ability.
https://www.putorius.net/kick-user-off-linux-system.html

𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: "OUR CLOUD BACKUP WE HAVE WITH YOU HAS FAILED!"
𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗿: "OK, let me look into it and call you back."
𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: "WELL MAKE IT QUICK. THIS IS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

𝘈 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳.

𝗘𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗿: "The reason the backup failed is because you have gone over your quota. You would have had a warning notification on the app, did you not see it?"
𝗖𝘂𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗿: "Ah, Umm? yes. I thought it didn't matter."

#LeSigh 🤦‍♂️

𝕎𝕖𝕓 𝕕𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕡𝕖𝕣𝕤. #𝕃𝕖𝕊𝕚𝕘𝕙

https://steemit.com/seriously/@dickturpin/seriously-i-know-that

When I've finally perfected my time machine I'm gonna go back and give Charles Dickens a damn good kicking.

They're all coming out of the woodwork because of the sun. 😞

It's VERY warm here. The sun is shining and I might even have to put the fan on. ☀️ 😓